Mets hires Billy Eppler as new GM

Uh ... congratulations?

Uh … congratulations?
Picture: Getty Images

Our long national nightmare is over because we don’t have to hear about New York Forests GM search no more. When each good candidate either abandoned the woods or threw his phone at the nearest lake, and then each candidate went full Lou Lou and told Sandy Alderson that there was someone on the other line calling from the white walls, Mets finally landed on Billy Eppler. Because when you get a chance to hire a guy who directed Angels to share with the biggest surviving player of the season, you can’t miss that bear.

Eppler won the Shohei Ohtani derby, no matter how much honor you want to spend on it, and he was also able to get more of Anthony Rendon’s money from Artie Moreno. Nor was he able to find a starting feeder who would ever have risen above the level of the landscape, nor did he build a large lineup around Mike Trout.

Eppler was also the man who hired Mickey Callaway as a throwing coach for angels before stories of his monstrous behavior came to light, though most have made it clear that Callaway’s reputation was hardly a secret in baseball circles. These stories were just a phone call or two away, and Eppler didn’t tell them. But not being generally aware and not doing homework makes Mets GM perfect. It was as if he was already at work.

When you’re in the position where Mets is, and you actually follow Chris Christie’s advice between Springsteen karaoke sessions, which he’s sure to put in his living room and do it every hour, everything you’re either old and / or desperate for. They have an old one in Alderson, and they are clearly desperate in Eppler.

Anyone can work on Jacob deGrom’s clean health and with just a few months return from Noah Syndergaard if he decides to stay. Eppler has shown that he can offer big checks, and two of the top five Angels potentials were his choice. Although it may be more in the “blind squirrel” file than any sign of eager inquiry.

But really, who wants Forests to be anything other than the ever-evolving Cheech and Chong activities they’ve always been?

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